Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
