We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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