Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
