Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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