Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
