Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
