youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My vagina is very pro this idea
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize