and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
