they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
