you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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