the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
