O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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