just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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