apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I love having hate sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
