Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just high enough for therapy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
