Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
