She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it's like iHOP with fire
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
