You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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