he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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