Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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