weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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