he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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