Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I fill condoms, not promises.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
