Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
