i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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