As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
