Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
