Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
