There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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