who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize