just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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