Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
