Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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