Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
