Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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