He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
