I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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