I must be too annoying 4 u.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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