you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
