Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she smelled like a LAN party
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
