Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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