I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
