u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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