just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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