I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize