so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
