ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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