Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
