im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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