Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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