Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
