im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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