You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
