Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
