No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
