So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
