I never want to see another naked old woman again.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize