I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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