nutella sex= disaster
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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