I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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