The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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