i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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