Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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