woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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