ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
