You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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