dude i'm inner monologue high
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize