In the future we'll all be gay
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
